


Apocalypse Boy

by creepymura



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 01:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepymura/pseuds/creepymura
Summary: No gender in the apocalypse, baby.





	Apocalypse Boy

**Author's Note:**

> third person, as fluffy as post apocalyptic romance gets

They'd gotten lucky on this safe house.

It must have belonged to an apocalypse nut of some sort back in the day. A weird hoarder who spent their entire life creating a safe bunker and stockpiling supplies for the inevitable end of the world, only to fuck it all up as soon and die too soon to actually enjoy any of their spoils as soon as the end of the world actually came.

None of the group liked to think about what might have happened to the previous owner of the house, since that was such a dreary reality of their next chance of safety, their next meal, their next mattress to sleep on.

Something they would all have to get used to at some point, but none of them actually liked.

Once they had patched up any particularly nasty bites or grazes and made sure every entrance to the house was securely locked, barred or boarded off, they all explored the house freely, filled with a vague sense of hope that things could only get better from here.

Nick and Rochelle took to unlocking the heavy basement door and found enough canned, dried and dehydrated food to feed an army, and a frankly excessive amount of ammo for their weapons that Nick had come to love about staging an apocalypse in the Deep South. Rochelle stared excitedly at all the exotic foods they suddenly had at their disposal, and talked about making all of them an actual, home cooked meal instead of eating out of cans around a burning gasoline barrel like so many nights they had before. Smiling at the fact that she’d never had the time to cook for her family or for herself before this thing, and how she finally had the time to make something full of love. Nick just admired the taste in high class bourbon whiskey that the previous owner had, though lamented that there wasn't anything lighter to enjoy first. 

Coach had roamed around the ground floors of the house, checking all of the electronics and gas outlets to see if anything still worked. Nothing from an electric outlet worked, unfortunately, so the washing machine and dryer were a no-show, as well as the television, the WiFi network, or the fridge.  He commented cynically on how it was pretty haphazard to be so prepared for an apocalypse and not have a power generator of some kind in the basement, or at least a backup source of power if anything bad did happen. But he couldn’t complain for too long.  After all, the gas still worked, the stove top could still be lit, which meant that Rochelle could cook anything she wanted, as long as it came in a jar or a tin or a dehydrated packet.No chance of anything fresh in Rochelle’s home cooked meal tonight thanks to the fridge being fried out.

And after finding out that the gas was still working and the water heater was still functioning the way it was supposed to, Ellis' discovery upstairs was easily the most celebrated thing amongst the group.

"Holy shit, guys!" Ellis called excitedly from the top of the stairs, while the rest of the group sat in the main living area, discussing their own findings around the house. "They still got hot water here!"

"Oh my god, really?" Rochelle gasped, getting up to her feet, her hands practically praying it was true already. "I swear to God, Ellis, if you're jokin' around with me, I'll kill you myself."

"No, no, I promise I'm not lyin'!" He replied, running down the stairs quickly, grinning from ear to ear as he caught his breath back. "The bathroom's real nice too, all fancy like and everythin'. Got soaps that look like little shell an’ shit!"

"God damn." Coach huffed, letting out an exasperated little chuckle, crossing his arms as he leant back into the sofa. "I can't remember the last time I bathed, ya know."

"Yeah, I don't think any of us can, old man." Nick said with a teasing smirk, staying reclined in his own little corner. “Sure as shit stinks like we can’t remember too.”

"Geez, you guys. Just thinkin' about havin' a warm shower and a nice hot meal afterwards is makin’ me loopy." Ellis grinned a dopey little smile, wrapping his arms around himself in a warm, comforting sort of gesture. "Ain't nothin' better than that. Even without an apocalypse in the way of everythin’."

"Oh yeah." Rochelle agreed with a similar, dreamy smile.

"Now now, don't get ahead of yourself, boy." Coach eventually got up from the sofa with a rough grunt, clapping a tenderly hand down on Ellis' shoulder. "A gentleman always lets the lady go before him on bath day, right? So I say Rochelle uses the shower first."

"Aw, what?" Ellis whined, quickly looking between Coach and Rochelle like he was being cornered by a set of parents. "But I found it!"

"Like none of us could have found it just as quick." Rochelle teased, lifting at the bill of his trucker cap with a little smile. "Come on, sweetie, you let me go first and I can promise you the biggest serving at dinner. How's that sound?"

"Sounds pretty fair to me." Ellis replied with an embarrassed grin without even a bit of thought before he spoke. Nick was sure he caught the kid's cheeks flush red for maybe a second or two as well.

Typical.

"Aight, that's how it's gonna work then. Rochelle goes first, then Ellis cus he found the shower. Coach listed. ”Then Nick.” Cocking a thumb over his shoulder. “And I'll go last." 

"If we leave enough hot water left, that is." Nick suddenly piped up, raising his hands defensively when the rest of the group glared over at him. "I'm just thinkin' of practicality here. Who knows how long it’ll be before the boiler kicks it in."

"We won't be long." Rochelle said, her tone reassuring as she looked over at Coach. "Right boys?" Looking at Ellis and Nick, waiting for their own promises.

"You got it." Ellis replied with a chipper smile, though Nick stayed stubbornly quiet. 

That seemed to be answer enough for them though, as Rochelle moved quickly to go upstairs and take a good, hard earned shower, and Ellis went to the kitchen to start up on dinner just to give Rochelle something easier to work with when she was done.

"Now." Coach started, still standing in front of Nick. "Where's that whiskey you said you found in the basement?"

"Ya got good taste, Coach." Nick replied with a grin.

"You know I do, boy."

-

"Hey kid, y'almost done in there?" Nick called out, rapping his knuckle against the slightly ajar bedroom door as he started to unbutton his shirt, squinting through the crack to see what he was still up to in the en-suite. "We all want some alone time, sure, but do it when we're not running on a gas metre, alright?"

"I'm not listenin' to you, Nick!" Ellis called back, his tone sing-song and light, though the water cut off not long after he spoke, replaced with his light hums and the padding of light footprints on carpet from the bathroom into the bedroom.

Rochelle hadn’t taken long in the shower before she was done and starting on dinner with Coach, after they had nursed a short glass of whiskey between the three of them. With a warm belly full of good alcohol and steam drifting from the open door, enticing him with the promise of hot water and clean smells, Nick was starting to feel just a little more like himself. 

A good thing or a bad thing, depending on who you asked.

Nick figured he'd give the kid five minutes to get himself appropriate before he went in for his own shower, that would be more than enough time for anyone else, at least. If the kid was slow then he’d get embarrassed, noth like Nick cared in the slightest though.

He shedded off his jacket and his undershirt, trying not to think about how much both the garments must have stank, even holding it at arm's length so he didn't have to consider how bad it might have been. Sour notes of boomer vomit and acid hung off the clothes, covering up the underlying scent of blood that he'd gotten too used to, as well as the resonating smell of old fashioned, soaked in sweat. 

Nick could only hope that he'd convince the others to make use of all the washing machine products they had in the basement, even if they couldn't use electricity to wase anything. Do it the old fashioned way.

Lost in his train of thought, Nick pushed through the bedroom door, fiddling with his belt buckle and the zip of his suit trousers, ready to shed those off as soon as Ellis left the room.

"If you're already done, Rochelle wants all hands on deck in the kitchen, so-"

But Nick quickly cut off whatever shit he was rambling about when he actually looked up from unbuckling his belt, shedding off his remaining clothes, and came face to face with a very naked Ellis.

His surprised silence had nothing to do with the fact that Ellis didn't look good naked though. Nothing of the sort. Though Nick already sort of knew that there wasn't a chance that the kid wasn't going to be packing something nice underneath his heavy coveralls and thin t-shirt that hid absolutely nothing when he got a little too sweaty or bloody. 

Didn’t really leave much up to the imagination, that’s all he would say about him.

Toned, tattooed arms, toned legs, as was to be expected from a full-time mechanic now living life (technically) on the run. No real surprises there, something he practically saw everyday lately. A light farmer's tan browned his skin though, pale dustings of freckles down his shoulders and arms that matched the ones on his face added a more endearing factor to his body. The slightest hint of a little beer gut underneath nicely defined abs and wispy brown hairs on his stomach. And Nick didn't have the chance to get a close look at it, unfortunately, but he was sure that Ellis was sporting a good, round ass along with such an impressive physique. 

Though that wasn't what he was thinking about in that moment. 

Nor was he thinking about how good Ellis actually looked naked and how he was still dripping wet from his shower, getting up to God only knows what when he thought no-one was listening.

No, what Nick was thinking about, suddenly face to face with, and what he was taking his sweet time understanding was that Ellis has breasts. 

Albeit small breasts, barely a size B and not nearly as defined or present as the ones he had seen in the past, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that they were there. 

What's more, when Nick's gaze drifted down Ellis' body in the milliseconds of stillness that they had between them, he saw a bush of coarse brown pubic hair, but nothing else hanging between his legs. 

Which could only mean...

As soon as things started to come together in Nick's mind, piece by piece, Ellis practically screamed at him in outrage, covering his body quickly with a towel that didn’t belong to him, shrinking in on himself, like he was ashamed of something.

"Nick, get the fuck out!" Ellis shouted loudly, glaring over at the other man who still hadn't moved from his spot, frozen in place. Glaring with a malice that Nick had never seen before, at least in him "Jesus christ, y'ever hear of knockin', ya God-damn shit for brains!"

Nick's brain tried to process the image in front of him for a few seconds too long to be considered accidental, before he squeezed his eyes shut quickly, covering his face with his hands and backing out of the room. 

"Sorry, sorry!" He insisted, speaking over Ellis’ manic shouting. "I didn't see anything, I promise! I’ll just leave you to it, okay!"

"Shut the shitting door, ya jackass!!"

Nick didn't have to be told (or yelled at) twice before he slammed the door shut for him, still listening to Ellis hurl strings of abuse at him from the other side of the thin wood between them, hearing some words and phrases that he'd come to associate with the South, and some that even he had never heard before. Just proved how angry Ellis really was for infringing his privacy so much.

Nick couldn’t imagine why.

-

The atmosphere was tense over dinner, thick enough that they could have cut through it with a knife.

Despite this, the group were all clean, wearing baggy, ill fitting clothes stolen from the previous owner's drawers and laundry hampers. Giving them all a weird theft sort of feeling in their stomachs, like they were living a life that didn't belong to them, trespassing on land that didn't belong to them. Stealing from a dead man, eating a dead man’s food, even if they weren’t the ones who killed him. 

Or maybe they were. It was so hard to tell these days.

But a weird sort of guilt gnawed at their insides, despite it never being that big an issue at safe houses before this one, so it was strange why this was suddenly a problem now.

And without Ellis' chatter, Nick's banter, Coach's stories and Rochelle's quips between all the conversation, they ate in mostly silence, occasionally glancing up at each other, trying to will conversation starters out of thin air, out of each other, any little point of interest they could think of, though the effort was almost entirely without any kind of rhyme or reason.

Must have just been an off night. Those happened all the time.

When dinner was over, people wanted to go to bed. It was late, they were full and they were tired. Very understandable as far as motives went.

Ellis volunteered to be the first one out to stand watch for danger, insisting that he wasn't tired, he could have easily stayed up for a few more hours, he wanted the rest of them to get some sleep while he stayed awake, it’s fine, really. A fake smile for all of them to believe him. 

Rochelle and Coach didn't put up more argument as they went upstairs to find any room to sleep, anywhere comfortable enough and with enough mattresses and blankets.

As Nick was about to join them upstairs, Rochelle just gave him a hard look that didn't need words to tell him that he was doing something wrong and he knew it. She must have heard the argument they'd had, all the shouting, and concluded that as the reasoning for Ellis being so quiet over dinner. Naturally put the blame on Nick's shoulders.

Nick just had to look at her himself, raised eyebrows, trying to will some kind of explanation out of her to give him a reason to care at all.

She didn't have to say anything, but she nodded over to where Ellis was sitting in the other room. Make things right, don't sleep until you have. 

All said with just a look. She could always do things like that.

So Nick didn't go upstairs. 

Instead, he went back into the living room, standing in the doorway and looking over at Ellis who was sat by the window, watching the courtyard through the gaps in the balsa wood, a trusty rifle resting in his lap.

"Hey, uh." Nick started, alerting Ellis’ attention, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he refrained from making any eye contact with the younger man. "Mind if I sit with ya? No chance I'll be sleeping anytime soon upstairs."

Ellis just shrugged, resting his chin against the butt of his gun, pretending to look out the heavily boarded up window. Stayed silent.

Still annoyed, for whatever reason.

Nick just let out an irritated sigh and sat down next to him on the heavily stained sofa, waiting for him to initiate some kind of conversation, some kind of indication that he'd gotten over their argument. 

Which, in hindsight, was barely an argument. More of an mistake, on Nick’s part, an accident. Something he’d seen that he wasn’t supposed to and was now worth getting angry at just because he knew something that the others suddenly didn’t.

But he had to be sympathetic. This was a big thing to know, something that other people might have reacted badly to. 

How was Ellis to know that Nick actually didn’t have any prejudices against anyone (except for idiots and gamblers over the age of sixty), let alone against those who happened to be transgender? The kid had grown up in the middle of Hillbilly Hell, he couldn’t even imagine how shitty it must have been to live where he did and go through a gender crisis.

So he could be sympathetic. Gentle, even. He could be supportive and tell Ellis everything that he wanted to hear, and to vow to take his secret to his grave, if that’s what he wanted.

But Ellis stayed silent. Kept to himself for the first time since they'd met. So he must have still been annoyed.

Nick couldn't help but get a little antsy, as he always tended to feel antsy in uncomfortable silences, silences he hadn't initiated. Ellis was a chatterbox, for christ's sake, he couldn't get him to stop talking when they were trying to sneak past a witch, a distracted hoard, and now, he suddenly had nothing to say.

Nick lamented how empty his pockets were, how he lacked any cigarettes for the first time in his life, how the hip flask in his shirt sleeve had been long empty. He could have used something to relax his mind a little.

When they had been sitting in uncomfortable silence for a good five minutes, Ellis almost entirely ignoring that Nick was even there, he started to get a little bit more desperate and his irritation at the silence got the best of him.

"Jesus christ, Ellis. Come on, man." The desperation to Nick's voice alerted Ellis' attention, at least, though he raised a doubtful eyebrow as he listened. "You can't be mad at me forever, can you?"

"Sure as hell can try." Ellis muttered quietly in response, looking back at the boarded window, but at least he was smiling a little now. Raised Nick's hopes up a little.

"Well, Rochelle’s keeping away half of my food rations until we make up, so it’s your fault if I starve to death.”

“I could live with that.” There was a teasing edge to Ellis voice though, as he lazily glanced over his shoulder at Nick, still holding onto his gun. “More food for me, right?”

“Feels like I’m wasting away already.” 

“I’m sure that’ll take a while before I have t’get worried then.”

Ellis was talking, at the very least. Being able to joke along with him, make fun of him like he often did, laugh at the banter, was an even better sign of their relationship rekindling. And while yes, Nick was doing this to appease Rochelle and Coach who saw him like one of their own, he didn't like the idea of Ellis not talking to him for the rest of their escapades together.

"You, uh, ya haven't told the others, have you?" Ellis asked after a moment of stillness, body language suddenly stiffer and more alert, like he was worried about something that wasn’t the zombies just outside the safehouse. 

"Of course I haven't, kid, I'm not that much of an asshole." Nick replied with a grimace, leaning back on the sofa.

"Yeah, well, ya can never be too careful." Ellis seemed to relax a bit more though, so Nick must have said something to put his mind at ease. "'Specially ‘round these parts, ya know." Still frowning though, still tensed up like someone was about to jump him. 

"I don't think Rochelle and Coach are like that, El." Nick was doing his best to try and be reassuring, though he had to admit that it wasn't one of his strong suits. Lying, bad card tricks, vague manipulation, that’s what he was good at. Not actually being a friend when someone needed it.

"I know, I know." He said, leaning back on the sofa and setting his gun aside to hold onto himself, for some sort of comfort. "I just kinda wanted to pretend for a while, ya know? Act like I was one of the guys." Looking over at Nick and letting out a little chuckle in spite of himself. "But it's gettin' harder an' harder to wear this thing every day, when we're movin' and all." Grimacing as he reached under his shirt to scratch at himself, at the binder that he must have been wearing for over twelve hours at this point. "An' I can never find a good time to er. Take my shot, ya know? Gettin' harder and harder t'lie."

"How long have you...ya know, been taking your shots?" Nick asked, and Ellis smirked a little at his curiosity, letting out a low, impressed whistle.

"Hooooo geez, a while now. Maybe three or so years. Means I don't have t'take 'em that often, but shit, man.” Tugging off his hat to push a hand through his tangled hair. “Who knows how long we're gonna be doin' this."

"That, uh.” Gesturing vaguely at his binder. “That why you always take first watch shift then?" 

"Yeah. Means I can get ready for bed without any of ya'll knowin' about my secret shame." His smile fell and he frowned at himself suddenly. "Though, I guess it ain't really a secret no more now, is it?"

"Hey, we don't have to tell anyone, okay?" Nick leaned in forward, closer to Ellis' tense body, resting what he hoped was a reassuring hand on his knee. "Let them find out for themselves, or wait for you to tell them. But your secret's safe with me, alright? I'd be a shitty part of our acronym if I outed ya." He finished, quickly leaning back into his corner of the sofa, feeling that the closeness was becoming too much, too quickly. A little over the line of just being friendly. 

"What's that mean then?" Ellis asked with a quirked eyebrow, though the little smile playing on his lips told Nick that he probably knew, and just wanted to hear him say it.

"In case you hadn't figured it out already, I'm actually gay, kid." Crossing his arms over his chest, still thinking about how much he wanted a cigarette. "Figured out what all those failed marriages actually meant a few years too late."

"See, I just thought that’s cus you were a loser." 

Ellis' mood had picked right back up as he threw his banter at Nick, grinning brightly and rocking excitedly on his end of the sofa. Though Nick couldn’t bring himself to be that annoyed or to call out Ellis’ teasing, as long as he was back to his chipper self.

"Respect your elders, kid." He bit back with a smirk, giving him a playful shove with his foot. 

"Would callin' you a gay loser make more sense?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Hey, check it out, it's a full moon tonight!"

Ellis kneeled up against the boarded in window, gesturing up to the patch of glass that wasn't covered with thick layers of balsa wood. The big, white moon shined down on the empty courtyard outside the safe house, making it seem almost inviting and safe, like the world wasn't falling to pieces barely seconds away from their undisturbed peace. Gave them both a feeling of melancholy dread deep down in the pits of their stomachs, as if they were experiencing the calm before an almighty storm.

But it excited Ellis and gave Nick a sense of perspective as they looked up at the starry night sky together, trying to pretend that they were safe, together, even if it was just for a minute or two.

Made them feel normal.

"Good thing we ain't fightin' werewolves or somethin'." Ellis mused with an upbeat tone, a smile practically audible on his voice. "Otherwise we'd be pretty screwed, huh, Nick?." 

"Zombies are bad enough for me, thanks. Don’t need any more Universal Monsters sneaking up on my ass." Nick muttered, mostly to himself, tilting his head back on the heavily stained cushions of the sofa. "God, I would kill for a beer right now."

"Aw yeah, man!” Ellis replied excitedly, looking over at Nick again. “Jesus, what could be better than that. Full moon, good company. Shit, all ya need is a cold one to make this night perfect."

“Good company, huh?” He quirked an eyebrow over at the younger man, smirking in an almost private way to himself.

“Preferable to any of the sons-a-bitches outside, anyway.” Ellis replied with a cheeky smile. “Don’t think they’d make for that great conversation.”

Ellis' spirits has been perked up sufficiently, Nick thought, looking at the bright eyes and peaceful grin on the younger man's face as he turned back to look outside his window. No doubt really, with a load like that finally off of his back and an open chance to relax a little, unwind the best he could. 

Nick was happy to provide a sort of safe space for Ellis, allow him to be open about himself in a way he couldn't be with the others. Hell, with all the things he had in common with Rochelle and Coach, being able to have this secret together actually made Nick feel somewhat special. 

Like he was worthy of knowing or something.

He'd take advantage of this sudden bond they'd established for as long as he could.

"Hey Nick?" Ellis said suddenly, breaking the quiet atmosphere between them, looking back over to where Nick was so relaxed on the sofa, he was nearly asleep.

"Yeah?" Nick replied, raising his head just enough that they could make eye contact.

"We're still bros, right?"

"Yeah, El." He smirked, leaning back, tucking his hands behind his head, eyes slipping shut. "We're bros."

And they sat together in a stable, comfortable silence for awhile, enjoying each others company and the rare peace that they had outside the door, underneath the light of the full mood.

"Hey, on the bright side, we're not gonna have a problem if we need to repopulate the earth, huh?"

"That's a pretty weird thing t'say, Nick."

"Yeah, that was pretty weird."

**Author's Note:**

> i've tried to post this twice before this so i'm not doing a clever end note. porn to come. am trans don't call me out. love you all.
> 
> whipstickagocock.tumblr.com (donate to my tip jar if you like my stuff)  
> ray x


End file.
